When negative self-talk comes from your child’s with ADHD mouth, your automatic reaction is to stop it. To give your child some reassurance or to convince them that their thinking is flawed. Instead of moving in to fix it, try these ideas to address the underlying feeling and their internal struggle.
Empathize: Try to empathize with your child’s unhappiness doesn’t mean that you agree with why they are feeling the way that they do, it is means that you are just trying to see things from their point of view of they will feel heard and they will be clear about what is bothering them. “I hear that you are really upset about this; I want to understand what happened.”
An added benefit of empathizing will allow your child hear their thoughts being said back, and sometimes children can often move beyond their feelings and recognize how different they are from the facts. So, for example a child who is upset about losing a game may be able to say, “I know I feel like a total failure, but I know it’s not true.”
Be Specific: When child with ADHD has negative thinking it can supersize the problem and make it look bigger than it really is. You can help your child narrow down and figure out one thing that started the bad feeling or the part that feels the hardest for you. By getting specific, it lessens the overwhelming problem.
Change The Perspective: Let your child with ADHD know that while negative thinking can exaggerates and magnifies the problem. Ask your child to change their perspective and ask how would their best friend see the situation or their favorite rock star, their hero, their favorite movie character. It helps to choose a superhero or their friend and see how they would handle the situation.
Seeing Things in A Better Perspective: Once your child with ADHD has calmed down and view things in a better perspective, help them figure out steps they can use to make things happen differently next time. You can ask questions such as what would you like to do first to make things better
Use Your Own Personal Experiences: Sharing your own personal experiences of disappointments or negative thinking and how we have choices about how to talk ourselves through certain situations. If your child with ADHD observe you talking yourself through your own obstacles, they will learn how to do so themselves.
These conversations are not always easy to have especially with a child with ADHD. If you are struggling to know what to say or not what to say. My ADHD Parent Coaching can help ! We will talk through these challenges and you will receive personalized solutions for your unique family. Schedule an Appointment for a Free ADHD Parent Discovery Session. http://tiny.cc/sjrdr